“Own your life, write your own story and live your own legacy.” – Maria Shriver
Live your legacy. To me that means owning your story – your truth. This takes courage and requires one to be vulnerable. Vulnerability is something that I thought I understood and something I thought I lived. For me vulnerability takes practice. I do believe when we get really good at being vulnerable we become whole because it is then that we accept our truth, which can be the hardest thing to do!
Blogging has allowed me to work through this process. Ambitious – yes, driven – hell yes, exhausted from trying to please everyone – you have no idea! There is one very important life lesson I have learned through my divorce and that is I matter most.
- To me
- To my significant other (when there is one)
- To my family
- To my daughter
- To my colleagues
- To my friends
God comes first, of course, but unless you put yourself first – truly embrace putting your emotional, physical and mental health first – you are no good to anyone. I lost that in my marriage. What I went through was unacceptable – yes. However, to allow others to treat me so poorly, I lost myself first.
Divorce was an ugly word to me. It is a word that I never wanted to say, was embarrassed to say. Why? Call me old fashioned, but I believe in staying together forever, like my grandparents. Were they truly happy? Rumor has it that my grandfather skipped town because of a fling with a woman in the church. My grandmother – what a gracious woman. I know I have to let go of this idea of perfection. Perfect doesn’t exist and that’s ok. “Your flaws are perfect for the person meant to love you” – Anonymous
As far as my grandparents’ rumor – will we ever know? Does it matter? #scandalous #rumorsharm It doesn’t change my love for them or the love they showered me with.
There sure is a lot of pressure to be perfect and I truly believe many young folks struggle with this today. The greatest gift we can give the younger generation is allowing them to embrace their mess. To accept imperfection. I had so many kids come into my classroom with anxiety. You see my classroom was a safe place. I’d let them go into my greenhouse and sit in the sunshine and just breathe. Why? Because I faced anxiety. I faced it from trying to be perfect and from staying in an unhealthy marriage.
Look at what we are faced with today. Go on social media and look at the perfect pictures, the perfect families. Look at the perfect bodies. Society is trying to do a better job with this… plus size models – beautiful. This is just my opinion, but we need to set the precedence with young people these days to “Embrace your mess, LOVE your mess!”
Live, love and be flawed. That is truth and truth is beautiful.
“Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they are never weakness.” – Brene Brown